Yes, it's alright to leave the kids at home so the two of you can enjoy an evening out.  In fact, it's recommended.  Going out with your spouse teaches your children that marriage and partnership are important.  They get to see how fulfilling a relationship can be.

Maybe you still think it's unfair to leave the children at home with a babysitter.  Consider this: maybe the kids would like a change of pace, someone new to interact and play with, someone with different rules and ways of doing things.  Even children who have difficulty at first will eventually come around.  Learning to have fun without the parents always around is an important step in growing towards independence.  Leaving the kids behind may be good for them.

But what about you?  Can you bear the thought of leaving them at home?  Are you afraid that something horrible might happen while you're gone or are you just feeling guilty about spending some money on yourself instead of the kids?  If the child balks at being left with the sitter, how serious is his objection?  Most of our fears are more guilt that reality.

Try overcomin gyour own anxieties by going on a trial run.  Go out for just an hour and check in half way through.  Over time, you can extend this time away.  Another technique is to go out during the child's nap or after you've tucked her in for the night.  They might not even know you're gone.  You'll find that after a few times, you can conquor yours and your child's fears and have a good time.

Once you've decided to go out, then you have to find a babysitter.  That's a subject for antoher article.  Keep posted for new posts!

By Patrick McCarthy

 Date night is an important part of keeping your marriage strong.  When the children start popping out, it becomes more difficult to enjoy the carefree night life you had as newleyweds.  Going out doesn't have to be a unatainable goal.  With a little planning, you'll discover it's well worth the effort.
 
The first step is committing to spending time together with just the two of you and leaving the kids at home.  you may think you don't have the energy after a long day but you'll feel refreshed after a night on the town that may consist of little more than going out together for a cup of coffee and dessert.  It may help to motivate you when you realize that your marriage is the nucleus of the family.  Your childrem's needs will be met if the needs of your marriage are met.                
 
Now that you know you want to go out, what to do about the kids?  Some thoughts on that topic will be in my next articl

                 
Now that you know you want to go out, what to do about the kids?  Some thoughts on that topic will be in  my next article.  For now, it’s  time to start planning what you’re going to do on Valentine’s Day. 

In doing some research for a Valentine's Day article, I ran across this knock, knock joke.  It was cute enough to find its way into here.

Knock, knock.
Who's There?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you.

Real brides share what actually happened when
they and their grooms stole away for the wedding night.


By:


Michele Bender



The Big Day is over, and you and your new
  husband head up to your hotel suite for a romantic champagne toast, followed by
  an amazing romp in bed. Well, anyway, that’s what happens in Hollywood films.
  Since real life is often not so picture perfect, we asked some recent newlyweds
  to share what really happened.

“Before the wedding, my husband and I had
separate hotel rooms, but we were planning to stay in my room on our wedding
night. So after everything was over, I went upstairs, changed into my lingerie,
filled two glasses with champagne and waited for my new husband. But he never
came! It turns out I’d forgotten to give him a room key. And I was so tired
after the long night that I fell completely asleep and didn’t hear either my
cellphone or room phone. He waited for 30 minutes in his room and spent another
30 minutes begging the hotel staff to let him into mine. To verify that he was
who he said he was, a hotel employee had to come in with him. And there I was,
asleep in a chair, wearing my lingerie and still holding onto a full glass of
champagne.”
—Bobbi, Richmond VA

“Right after the wedding we
went up to our hotel room with a whole bunch of friends and relatives. My sister
had gotten us a karaoke machine, so we sang with everyone until 4 a.m.—with me
still in my wedding dress, eating chips and drinking wine. It was the best night
of my life.”
—Nancy, New York City

“We got married in the
morning on a beach in St. John in the U.S.V.I. After the wedding brunch, we all
went for a sailboat ride. We had lots more planned, but I was so exhausted that
when we returned from the ride, I passed out in a beach chair for the rest of
the afternoon. That night, we went out to dinner and I could barely keep my eyes
open. Needless to say, I went straight to sleep!”
—Mollie, San
Francisco

“By the time we checked into the Ritz-Carlton hotel after
the reception, it was very late. We stopped on the concierge level, which had a
lounge that offers evening treats. I wanted chocolate-covered strawberries, but
since it was sooooo late, the lounge was closed. Despite this, John begged the
hotel staff to put together a huge platter of sweets. It was awesome!”

—Vicki, Atlanta, GA

“On our wedding night, we were back at our
hotel room by 10 p.m. We hung out with friends in our suite until no one could
keep their eyes open anymore—except me! I was far too excited to sleep, but my
new husband had no problem at all passing out while I just stared at the ceiling
for hours, going over the day. I bet most people have pretty low-key wedding
nights and save the wild stuff for the honeymoon.”
—Dori, New York
City


 

By Wilferd A Peterson


Happiness in marriage is not something that just
  happens.  A good marriage must be
  created.  In the art of marriage
the little things are the big
things…

 It is never being too old to hold hands.

 It is remembering to say, “I love you,” at least once each
  day.

 It is never going to sleep angry

 It is at no time taking the other for granted, the courtship
  shouldn’t end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the
years.

 It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives, it
is standing together facing the world.

 It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or
sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

 It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude
in thoughtful ways. 

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the
wife to have the wings of an angel. 
It is not looking for perfection in each other. 
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of
humor.

 It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

 It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can
  grow.

 It is finding room for the things of the spirit.  It is a common search for the good and
the beautiful.

 It is establishing a relationship as counseled by Louis K.
  Anspacher, in which “the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual and
  obligation is reciprocal.”

 It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right
partner.

 It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best, as expressed
in the words Mark Twain used in a tribute to his wife: “Wherever she was, there
was Eden.”

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an entry.  We were sick for a few weeks in
November.  It seems like this is  going to be the month to be sick for us. 
Last year, we missed out on going to Thanksgiving dinner with our family
because we got sick just before Thanksgiving.


For many couples, an illness can cause a strain in  their relationship.  The strain can
be relieved by keeping a positive attitude.  Find something to look forward to even
if it’s just getting better.


Being sick at the same makes it difficult to be  positive.  Talk about how you’re
feeling.  It will help to create an  attitude of teamwork.  You might 
begin to feel that you can get through this together.   It could even make your marriage stronger.


Last year, we had some really good friends who brought us plates
loaded with Thanksgiving goodies. 
This year, we got well enough to go eat at a dinner party. 
But most importantly we spent the holidays together.

I woke up this morning to rain in San Diego.  I had to run outside to see if I left a window on the car open.  Rain is so rare in San Diego that it’s easy to leave a car window open thinking it will be alright.  At least we didn’t have snow like some parts of the country this past week.

According to weather reports, in a day or so, San Diego will be back to its usual seventy degree weather.  That’s how it usually goes here.  The rest of the country can be in the deep freeze and we’re staying comfortable.

With year round warm weather, our beaches are open all year as well.  I still remember relaxing on the beach last January.  We’ll probably be out there again this year.

If you’re thinking that you have to wait to June for the perfect beach wedding, think again.  Our weather is perfect all year.  You can get married on New Year’s Eve or even Valentine’s Day on any one of San Diego’s beautiful beaches.  Once you’re here, you won’t even remember the snow back home.

Now that the day is half over, the sun is starting to poke through.  With the rain over, I can put my rain away for a couple of more months.  And my car window was fortunately up this morning.

You’re ready to get married.  You have to go down to the San Diego County Clerk’s office to get your license.  You think your budget doesn’t allow for much more than a civil ceremony at the clerk’s office.  Later on you discover that for just a little more, San Diego Wedding Bells could have conducted your ceremony on any of San Diego’s beautiful beaches.

A simple beach wedding is affordable and meaningful.  Imagine the sun setting over Point Loma as you exchange vows on Coronado Beach.  You’ll have pictures you remember forever.

San Diego Wedding Bells can help you find the perfect location.  We’ll send you samples of vows or you can write your own.  We’ll meet you on location, officiate you vows and file your marriage license.

Just because you’re on a budget doesn’t mean you have to get married at the county Clerk’s office.  Give us a call at 619-816-7610 and we’ll tell you how to have an affordable, meaningful beach wedding that you’ll remember forever.

You’ve met someone who has an apartment with two bathrooms, something that can help make a marriage successful but is this alone a good enough reason to get married?  Below are a couple points to consider.

You no longer have to impress each other. 

Can you kiss someone first thing in the morning BEFORE you’ve brushed your teeth.  This is that time of the day before you’ve had a chance to put on your public persona.  Kissing someone right after you wake shows you can drop your defenses and let them see you as you are.  You no longer have to distract them with your car or job.  You are who you are and that’s all your spouse wants.

You have learned how to trust. 

Earning trust is a discipline that sometimes takes more effort.  If you say you’re going to save up for a vacation, you don’t get halfway to your goal and then buy a flat screen TV.  Once someone knows you’re going to do what you say, trust will begin to build and it’s worth the effort.  Soon it doesn’t even feel like an effort.

These are a couple of points to consider in deciding if you’re ready to get married.  More will follow in future articles.

Spending money can become an emotional rather than a strategic issue.  The following issues can help you start the discussion.

MERGING THE FINANCES

Most couples (64%) put all their money in joint accounts while some keep separate accounts and others had both.  When first becoming a committed couple there may still need to be a certain level of autonomy over money as well as learning how to handle finances as a couple.  Later, when the kids and house payments come, it might be just easier to keep a joint account.

KEEPING SPENDING IN CHECK

Men and women tend to spend about the same amount of money but on different things.  Studies show that women tend to take care of the family’s daily expenses: the groceries, bills, cloths while men spend on large purchases like plasma TVs, cars or computers.  Because the spending is so different, the perception of who is the big spender is different.

Talking about how you’re going to merge your finances can lead to talking about what you want to spend your money on. 

By dealing with your money strategically instead of emotionally, you can avoid one of the biggest difficulties many marriages face.