San Diego has some of the consistently best weather in  the country.  Those who move here from colder clients never cease to gloat to their friends how it’s once more in the seventies here while snowing back where they came from.


This past weekend changed that around.  We had rain and clouds along the coast while inland in the mountains experienced snow storms.  Meanwhile, it was 80 in Chicago!


We had a wedding that was originally scheduled to take place along Sunset Cliffs on Point Loma on Saturday. With the rain pelting down, the couple moved their wedding inside to the reception hall. 



Regardless of the weather outside, it was a beautiful  wedding.  Once the bride and groom stood before me to take their vows, all other considerations are minor.  You could tell the sun was shining in their hearts.


This past weekend was the exception to San Diego’s 270+ mostly sunny days each year.  No matter what the weather’s doing, San Diego is a place to make memories that will last  forever.

“My wife and I were so engrossed with the wedding that we never had a chance to eat. Our caterer gave us doggie bags. When we got back to our hotel room around midnight, all we could think about was food. But when we opened our bags, everything was cold and there were no utensils. We didn’t care; we sat on our bed shoveling handfuls of rice, asparagus, fish and fowl into our
mouths. When we finally got between the sheets, there was rice pilaf everywhere.”
—Neil, Lexington, KY

“I drank a little too much at my wedding. When I was getting undressed, I broke the baby pearl bracelet that a friend had lent me. I was so upset at myself that there was no ‘consummation of
the marriage.’ Worse, I woke up the next day, very hung over.”
—Vikki,  Mill Valley, CA

“I was so tired after our wedding that I went to our room, took off my wedding dress and fell asleep. We both woke up starving in the middle of the night, so we drove to a 24-hour convenience store and loaded up on snacks.”
—Theresa, Reading, PA

“I woke up, went to the bathroom and when I looked in the mirror, I was totally surprised to see that a small pillow was attached to my head as if it was glued there. I realized I’d forgotten to take out the hundred or so bobby pins in my hair, and some of them had gotten hooked on the pillow.”
—Jessica, Oakland, CA

“We planned to spend our wedding night at a hotel and to fly to Hawaii the next day.
We’d barely eaten at our wedding, so we ordered pasta from room service. My husband got so ill he had to go to a hospital emergency room with what turned out to be an allergic reaction to the shellfish in the pasta. It goes without  saying, we missed our flight to Hawaii.”
—Susan, Madison, WI

“I wanted to make sure our room would look completely different from the one in
 which I’d had my hair and makeup done earlier in the day (when I was still single!). So I asked my wedding planner to add vases of flowers and scented candles, dim the lights, put on music and put some small snacks on a tray on the bed. My husband loved it!”
—Patricia, Boston, MA


Experts Weigh In


From Janet Dunnington, owner of CEO Weddings & Events in Vermont:
“Cover your wedding bed in petals that are the same color as your bridal flowers. If you’re
having a winter wedding, plan to have a fire crackling in the fireplace when you get up to your room. Then place throw pillows on the floor and sip champagne together. It’s great to surprise your partner by arranging to have food and drinks waiting in your room. One bride loved chocolate-chip cookies, so I made sure a homemade batch was there on a platter for her.”

From Xochitl
Gonzalez of Always a Bridesmaid Wedding Consulting & Event Design, New York
City:
“Be sure to spring for a hotel suite. I know it sounds obvious, but since so many couples live together today, they may decide just to head home and save some money. Don’t! You should go someplace special, if only to remind yourselves that this is your first night together MARRIED! Also, don’t forget the lingerie. Your moms and grandmas wore bridal peignoirs—the nightgowns that
  girls received for their wedding nights and honeymoons. It’s an old tradition, but it’s nice to have something new and sexy (not necessarily a nightgown!) to sleep in.”

Yes, it's alright to leave the kids at home so the two of you can enjoy an evening out.  In fact, it's recommended.  Going out with your spouse teaches your children that marriage and partnership are important.  They get to see how fulfilling a relationship can be.

Maybe you still think it's unfair to leave the children at home with a babysitter.  Consider this: maybe the kids would like a change of pace, someone new to interact and play with, someone with different rules and ways of doing things.  Even children who have difficulty at first will eventually come around.  Learning to have fun without the parents always around is an important step in growing towards independence.  Leaving the kids behind may be good for them.

But what about you?  Can you bear the thought of leaving them at home?  Are you afraid that something horrible might happen while you're gone or are you just feeling guilty about spending some money on yourself instead of the kids?  If the child balks at being left with the sitter, how serious is his objection?  Most of our fears are more guilt that reality.

Try overcomin gyour own anxieties by going on a trial run.  Go out for just an hour and check in half way through.  Over time, you can extend this time away.  Another technique is to go out during the child's nap or after you've tucked her in for the night.  They might not even know you're gone.  You'll find that after a few times, you can conquor yours and your child's fears and have a good time.

Once you've decided to go out, then you have to find a babysitter.  That's a subject for antoher article.  Keep posted for new posts!

By Patrick McCarthy

 Date night is an important part of keeping your marriage strong.  When the children start popping out, it becomes more difficult to enjoy the carefree night life you had as newleyweds.  Going out doesn't have to be a unatainable goal.  With a little planning, you'll discover it's well worth the effort.
 
The first step is committing to spending time together with just the two of you and leaving the kids at home.  you may think you don't have the energy after a long day but you'll feel refreshed after a night on the town that may consist of little more than going out together for a cup of coffee and dessert.  It may help to motivate you when you realize that your marriage is the nucleus of the family.  Your childrem's needs will be met if the needs of your marriage are met.                
 
Now that you know you want to go out, what to do about the kids?  Some thoughts on that topic will be in my next articl

                 
Now that you know you want to go out, what to do about the kids?  Some thoughts on that topic will be in  my next article.  For now, it’s  time to start planning what you’re going to do on Valentine’s Day. 

In doing some research for a Valentine's Day article, I ran across this knock, knock joke.  It was cute enough to find its way into here.

Knock, knock.
Who's There?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you.

Real brides share what actually happened when
they and their grooms stole away for the wedding night.


By:


Michele Bender



The Big Day is over, and you and your new
  husband head up to your hotel suite for a romantic champagne toast, followed by
  an amazing romp in bed. Well, anyway, that’s what happens in Hollywood films.
  Since real life is often not so picture perfect, we asked some recent newlyweds
  to share what really happened.

“Before the wedding, my husband and I had
separate hotel rooms, but we were planning to stay in my room on our wedding
night. So after everything was over, I went upstairs, changed into my lingerie,
filled two glasses with champagne and waited for my new husband. But he never
came! It turns out I’d forgotten to give him a room key. And I was so tired
after the long night that I fell completely asleep and didn’t hear either my
cellphone or room phone. He waited for 30 minutes in his room and spent another
30 minutes begging the hotel staff to let him into mine. To verify that he was
who he said he was, a hotel employee had to come in with him. And there I was,
asleep in a chair, wearing my lingerie and still holding onto a full glass of
champagne.”
—Bobbi, Richmond VA

“Right after the wedding we
went up to our hotel room with a whole bunch of friends and relatives. My sister
had gotten us a karaoke machine, so we sang with everyone until 4 a.m.—with me
still in my wedding dress, eating chips and drinking wine. It was the best night
of my life.”
—Nancy, New York City

“We got married in the
morning on a beach in St. John in the U.S.V.I. After the wedding brunch, we all
went for a sailboat ride. We had lots more planned, but I was so exhausted that
when we returned from the ride, I passed out in a beach chair for the rest of
the afternoon. That night, we went out to dinner and I could barely keep my eyes
open. Needless to say, I went straight to sleep!”
—Mollie, San
Francisco

“By the time we checked into the Ritz-Carlton hotel after
the reception, it was very late. We stopped on the concierge level, which had a
lounge that offers evening treats. I wanted chocolate-covered strawberries, but
since it was sooooo late, the lounge was closed. Despite this, John begged the
hotel staff to put together a huge platter of sweets. It was awesome!”

—Vicki, Atlanta, GA

“On our wedding night, we were back at our
hotel room by 10 p.m. We hung out with friends in our suite until no one could
keep their eyes open anymore—except me! I was far too excited to sleep, but my
new husband had no problem at all passing out while I just stared at the ceiling
for hours, going over the day. I bet most people have pretty low-key wedding
nights and save the wild stuff for the honeymoon.”
—Dori, New York
City


 

By Wilferd A Peterson


Happiness in marriage is not something that just
  happens.  A good marriage must be
  created.  In the art of marriage
the little things are the big
things…

 It is never being too old to hold hands.

 It is remembering to say, “I love you,” at least once each
  day.

 It is never going to sleep angry

 It is at no time taking the other for granted, the courtship
  shouldn’t end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the
years.

 It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives, it
is standing together facing the world.

 It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or
sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

 It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude
in thoughtful ways. 

It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the
wife to have the wings of an angel. 
It is not looking for perfection in each other. 
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of
humor.

 It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

 It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can
  grow.

 It is finding room for the things of the spirit.  It is a common search for the good and
the beautiful.

 It is establishing a relationship as counseled by Louis K.
  Anspacher, in which “the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual and
  obligation is reciprocal.”

 It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right
partner.

 It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best, as expressed
in the words Mark Twain used in a tribute to his wife: “Wherever she was, there
was Eden.”